Self-forgiveness…. something we don’t really talk about. Not because we are ignorant to the issue, but simply because we usually cannot find the words. It’s quite easy to contemplate forgiving someone else, whether that person has seriously hurt you or if their offense is minor. But what do you do, when you are the offender? You may have hurt someone you love, you may have gotten yourself into a bad situation, you may have lost sight of your self worth and wound up in a dangerous relationship. Whatever it may be how do you sit down, look you self in the face and say:
I truly forgive you.
It’s hard! However no matter how difficult or even insignificant self forgiveness may seem, it is so IMPORTANT. In order to move forward in a journey towards self love and acceptance, it is imperative to be kind with yourself and forgive your own wrongdoings. Here’s how:
1. Admit It!
Forgiveness begins with acknowledging what was done wrong. Whatever pain you caused, either for yourself or someone else, realize and accept that it happened. Think back to that moment, evaluate what occurred, and understand your position in that situation.
2. Don’t Judge Yourself
A lot of times self forgiveness is so hard simply because we are hard on ourselves. Without realizing it, we don’t give ourselves room to make mistakes or to really learn from bad choices. Yes, you did something you may not be proud of butyou are not a bad person. Understand that you are human, and just like everyone else you’re going to fall down every once in a while.
3. Make Amends
No matter how hard we try, unfortunately we end up hurting other people including ourselves. Once we realize what we’ve done, it is important to make amends! Reach out to that person and give a sincere apology, or if it’s personal write yourself a letter of apology. Be as honest and vulnerable as possible, this is all about self healing.
4. Say It Out Loud
Look in the mirror and say to yourself:
“I forgive myself for what has happened. I’m willing to move forward and continue to love myself.”
Now, this may seem a little awkward but self affirmations are so powerful! Sometimes you have to train your mind to adapt a new cycle of thinking, one that isn’t constantly looking through those self-hating glasses.
5. Move On!
Isn’t it annoying to be constantly reminded of your past mistakes by other people? So why do you keep doing it to yourself? The biggest step in self forgiveness is knowing when to stop punishing yourself. Do all you can to make the situation right through steps 1-4, but after that you gotta know when to pick your head back up girl! Understand this process doesn’t happen over night, but be patient with yourself. Time truly heals all wounds but you are on your way to peace!