We’re going to mix a bit of astrology and human design to discuss how best to emotionally regulate when you’re faced with uncertainty or overloaded with stress. Of course, you can use these tips to help yourself long before you become overwhelmed so they can be rituals that you lean on to keep you in balance.
First, let’s understand why emotional regulation is worth your time! Emotional regulation is the ability to manage your emotional reactions in order to respond to the circumstances around you. Regulation is not about controlling or stopping your emotions, instead it’s about creating the internal space to understand how the external world is impacting your body and choosing how you want to craft the narrative around it.
Emotional regulation is an important skill because emotions are closely linked to how we think and how we act. So if you don’t know how to emotionally regulate, you may be stuck in a constant state of high stress, which makes it hard to problem-solve rationally and literally damages your body. Without emotional regulation, you can exhaust yourself and your cells out of the ability to feel and receive joy. With the tools to emotionally regulate, you can interact with life’s obstacles with a clear(er) head and make decisions that benefit you long term as opposed to reacting to alleviate the short term desires.
The Moon and Earth signs: what they represent and how to find them
In astrology, your sun, moon, and rising make up your Big Three. These are determined by the placement of the stars on the day and time you were born. Of the trio, the moon represents your emotional needs and your non-negotiables when it comes to feeling safe and secure. If you don’t already know your sign, you can run your birth chart on sites like Astro.com.
One sign that you may not be familiar with is the earth sign. The earth sign is used in human design to show what grounds you and what makes you feel comfortable because it’s already familiar. There’s a bit of past life, already-mastered-this energy to the earth sign. You can find the earth sign by finding the “opposite” sign to your sun sign (I’ve also listed it below in each sign). You probably already know your sun sign, but if you don’t, it’s just based on the date you were born. Here’s a quick refresher of the zodiac calendar:
Aries Dates: March 21 – April 19
Taurus Dates: April 20 – May 20
Gemini Dates: May 21 – June 20
Cancer Dates: June 21 – July 22
Leo Dates: July 23 – August 22
Virgo Dates: August 23 – September 22
Libra Dates: September 23 – October 22
Scorpio Dates: October 23 – November 21
Sagittarius Dates: November 22 – December 21
Capricorn Dates: December 22 – January 19
Aquarius Dates: January 20 – February 18
Pisces Dates: February 19 – March 20
Which sign to use and when?
The moon sign is much more of an emotional approach, this is how you create safety in your mind and spirit. I lean on my moon sign tactics when I need to re-regulate my nervous system or when I’m experiencing depression and other extreme emotions.
The earth sign is much more embodied, most of the advice here is going to be tactile and involve using your hands or body. Lean on your earth sign habits when you want to regain a sense of control or when you want to focus on something that you can tangibly impact.
Let’s jump right in!
Aries moon: Put yourself first. Give yourself the freedom to be self centered and to hold space for your own feelings before anyone else’s. Ask yourself, using the second person pronoun, “If you had no obligations today, what would you do?” Listen for the answer, and to the ability that you can, do what comes up.
Aries earth (Libra sun): Throw a tantrum. I’m so serious. Throw a full out, wriggling on the floor, screaming into pillows tantrum. Or find one of those anger rooms where you can smash glass and plates. I want you rolling on the floor, limbs flailing, curses flying!
Taurus moon: Is receiving gifts your love language? That’s rhetorical, of course it is. You might want to go shopping or treat yourself to a luxurious experience whatever that means to you. That could be a fancy dinner, a girl’s night, or simply going to a pristine nature space and basking in its glow.
Taurus earth (Scorpio sun): Get a massage, go to the spa. Let somebody (even if it’s you) pamper you. Soak your cuticles and paint your nails, you could even wax if you want to. Taurus is the most physical sign of all, so you need to focus on grooming the outside of your body.
Gemini moon: Surround yourself with friends. Have really deep conversations about the nature of life and consciousness and chase curiosities just for fun. Connect with people who feel like family.
Gemini earth (Sagittarius sun): Get out the white board and some markers, you need to solve a (low stakes) mystery. Watch or listen to a fictional whodunnit series so you can put pieces of a puzzle together- I like Nada Suspeitos on Netflix. If that’s not your genre, watch a few episodes of Are You The One, and try to piece together who belongs with who.
Cancer moon: Cry lovey! Take a bath. Put yourself in the sea. Sleep a lot and see what your dreams have to say. Hold yourself with the compassion that you’d show a child who’s hurting.
Cancer earth (Capricorn sun): You should cry too, but do it while you rearrange your home. Every time there’s a shake up in your emotional world, channel that through your physical space. Recreate your shell, it was time for a new one. Focus on making your home space create the safety you need.
Leo moon: Ask a friend to actively listen to your side of the story and validate everything you’re saying. Do the most grandiose, dramatic retelling of the situation. I’m talking full blown soap opera on 17- you literally cannot overdo it. Note: This isn’t a forever solution! You just need to do this first, then you can problem solve later.
Leo earth (Aquarius sun): Feed your inner child. Choose one of those ‘silly’ things you used to do as a kid, like skateboarding, drawing, singing to yourself in the mirror, trying to learn the choreo to Ciara’s videos. Do anything that allows you to be your younger self, and take her interests as seriously as she did.
Virgo moon: How can you be of service to yourself? What do you need in this moment? Create a plan to get you what you need, whether that’s delegating something at home or learning some AI to make work easier. Execute only the first step.
Virgo earth (Pisces sun): You should literally touch grass. Volunteer at a plant nursery or if you have a garden, now is a great time to tend to it. You could also volunteer for a nature conservation project, like a bay clean up or planting trees.
Libra moon: Surround yourself with beauty- whatever that means for you. You can go to an art gallery or watch visually stunning media (hello Spiderverse and NASA youtube channel). I personally find nature to be that embodiment of beauty for me.
Libra earth (Aries sun): Flirt with some bodies. I’m not joking, love. Go charm the pants of a few people so you can remember and assert your soft power. Plus obviously, you love attention.
Scorpio moon: Take your imagination to the worst case scenario of your situation, allow your body to experience all the emotions that come with it. Now visualize how you’d transform as a result of the worst case scenario. What do you think of this version of yourself? What do you value and what would you discard? Breathe deeply and bring that imagined version of yourself into the present moment and ask what they would do in your position.
Then give yourself permission to imagine the best case scenario and repeat the same process.
Scorpio earth (Taurus sun): Before you get emotionally wrecked, create a one-time F*ck You Fund, where you put whatever amount of money your comfortable spending on something nonessential. When you get into a situation where you feel out of control, go into that fund and spend that money on whatever you want! Refill as needed. By the way, I recommend keeping that money in a high yield savings account so you can gain some interest.
Note: if you can find a way to get yourself a sugar daddy who wants to be financially dominated/humiliated, that’d be ideal. But the FU budget is fine too.
Sagittarius moon: Read or watch inspiring stories of exploration and people overcoming hardship. You need to tap into the feeling of expansion and relentless belief that activates the impossible.
Sagittarius earth (Gemini sun): Learn something new. Watch a documentary or start a book on a random topic, and let yourself get totally immersed in it for as long as it keeps your interest.
Capricorn moon: Create the boundaries that will mitigate this situation in the future. Write out what circumstances you’re willing to respond to and how you want to react moving forward. Develop the story of this experience that serves you best.
Capricorn earth (Cancer sun): Work on a project or skill that you’re learning for fun, like a new language or crochet. This works best for activities that are not obligations, so you can hone the craft for the pure satisfaction of mastery.
Aquarius moon: Be around people who allow you to be yourself fully. If you don’t feel like you have that, spend some time reconnecting with yourself. Remember you don’t have to translate yourself or your needs for anyone else’s benefit.
Aquarius earth (Leo sun): Journal on your favorite aspects of your personality. Start by writing a list of 10 ways you add value to your community and then list another value everyday for a week.
Pisces moon: Read or watch fantasy books/movies (NK Jemisin will rock your world). For a few days, give yourself permission to only do the things that feel and flow easily.
Pisces earth (Virgo sun): Pray or do whatever gets you spiritually connected. That could be transcendental meditation or listening to binaural beats, anything that feels good to you. You need to escape the physical realm for a bit to connect to the divine within.
As always, take what resonates and leave the rest! Be well, beloved.