The world of blogging and podcasting has become almost vital to the expression of women of color everywhere. No matter your age or background, we have relied on our own creativity and ambition to share our thoughts in a way that’s beneficial to others. How powerful would these platforms be if they included two perspectives say, from a mother and daughter? How powerful would it be to have an outlet that bridges a generational gap, mentoring two groups of women at the same time? Well we have just found exactly that in “The Duo Podcast.”
Created by Cyndi Mathis and Allison Mathis Jones, “The Duo Podcast” openly discusses topics such as dating, travel, parenting, marriage, and more. In hopes of showing the importance of a healthy and candid relationship between mother and daughter, the two tell a much needed story while showing the importance of collaboration amongst women.
We sat down with the two to learn more about their start, and what it’s really like working together on “The Duo Podcast.”
Why did you start The Duo Podcast?
For years people have asked us about our unique Mother/Daughter bond. We have always shared a very special relationship – we talk about everything under the sun and honestly always have. Friends and strangers alike have often asked us how they could foster the kind of relationship that we have with their own mother or daughter so we decided to take the things that we talk about on a daily basis and put them on a larger platform to hopefully show others that just because we have different ideals we can come together to find common ground. We truly believe that open and honest communication is the key to any and all successful relationships and we hope to inspire other mother-daughter duos to have open conversations to improve their relationships and deepen their bonds.
Has this journey strengthened your relationship as mother and daughter? How?
Honestly, we don’t necessarily think our bond could get any stronger that it already is. Because we were already so close when we began this journey, we can’t say that it has strengthened our relationship. What we can say is that it has allowed us to expand on the bond that we have always shared. We were already having these type of conversations daily – now we’re just having them on a stage and sharing them with the world.
What is most challenging about working together on this project?
As of yet we have not been faced with any major challenges by working together. We are so in tune with each other and we are alike in a lot of ways. If anything working together is helpful because we play well off each other. What one of us lacks, the other one makes up for. One small challenge that we have experienced is scheduling. We spend a lot of time together, but sometimes it can be difficult to find time when we can record, especially when we are traveling or know that either one or both of us will be out of the country.
A relationship with your mother is so important, however sometimes it can be unhealthy and create generational cycles of dysfunction. Cyndi, you mentioned on your website that you experienced a strained relationship with your mother. How were you able to break that cycle in raising your own daughter?
It is true that I had a very strained relationship with my mother growing up. I always made a promise to myself that if I ever had kids, especially a daughter that I would have a completely different relationship with my child. Many times we fall into the cycle of repeating the things from our past. To me that is a complete cop-out. If you know in your heart that something isn’t right it is up to you and you alone to make a conscience decision to break that cycle and have a better life
Sometimes we daughters find it difficult to be vulnerable with our mothers, Allison how were you able to build such a close relationship with yours?
I’m blessed in that I have a mom who always let me know that there was nothing I couldn’t talk to her about. She always told me that although she might not agree with my decisions, she would always be there as my sounding board and offer guidance as best she could. It’s honestly my mom’s approach to communication that allowed me to be vulnerable with her. I always trusted that she would love me unconditionally and that’s what made me feel comfortable being open and honest no matter what. Now that I’m an adult, I nurture our relationship. I make time for my mom just as I make time for my other friends and I include her in my life. As daughter’s we often grow up and when we leave our mother’s homes, we leave a part of that special relationship behind as well, but I’ve always made sure to bring my mom along on my journey and allow her to be a part of every aspect of my life.
Why do you think there is often a such a disconnect between the mother-daughter generations?
We believe there is a wide generational disconnect between most mothers and daughters because most mothers and daughters never learn the art of communication. Generally mothers always tell their kids what to do without any regard to what the kid thinks. It’s the old “do as I say, not as I do” and “as long as you live under my roof you will do as I say” thought process, but the truth is, this way of thinking does not foster close, open relationships. Sometimes parents forget that while they think they can demand the respect of their children, respect is something that has to be earned on both levels. Just because we birth our children does not mean that they do not have their own ideals and thoughts. Mothers and daughters need to spend more time listening to each other and walking in each other’s shoes without judgement.
What is the biggest lesson you’ve learned from each other?
C: The biggest lesson that I have learned from Allison is her forgiving nature and her drive and ambition. I can sometimes have a short fuse, especially where my child is concerned. If you do something to cross me and I put you on my list you are very likely to remain on that list. I give very few second or third chances. Allison has a very forgiving nature and I am trying to adapt a little more of that in my old age.Allison is also very driven and ambitious. Once she sets her mind to something nothing and no one will get in the way of her completing her goals.
A: I’ve learned so much from my mom. She has always been my best friend and role model, so it’s so hard to pinpoint one thing. One lesson my mom has taught me is loyalty. She is loyal to her friends and family members to no end. She loved my father unconditionally and literally stood by him until he took his last breath (and I mean she literally refused to leave the hospital). Her loyalty is something that I always hold with me and hope to replicate in my own marriage and relationships.
As women of color, what do you think we all can do to continue to support each other despite our differences?
As women of color we believe that it is our job more than anyone else’s to build each other up. We need to stop with petty jealousies and understand that we hold the keys to the future of the world in our hands. Stop with the body shaming and the backstabbing. God created us all and we are all meant to be different. Embrace those differences and uphold each other’s strengths to help each other overcome our weaknesses.
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