+13 Valentine’s Day Is For Everyone. Not Just The Romantics.
Valentine’s Day Is For Everyone. Not Just The Romantics.
Every February, Valentine’s Day arrives with an anticipation that could kill.
If you’re a young woman, you’ll likely fall into one of the following categories. Those who spend every waking moment biting nails and hoping and praying their situationship will rise to the occasion, those who blissfully celebrate concrete plans with long-time partners, the others that will celebrate with the “gals”, and the very few who will completely disregard the holiday, ignoring the spectacle by all means necessary.
The last one? A little bit of a long-shot. Especially when every convenience store kindly greets you with some type of heart shaped candy the minute your feet hit the sliding doors.
Who would’ve thought we’d come to live in a world where love is so polarizing.
Regardless of these tropes, true or not, most people are experiencing the same emotion. In fact, most of us get so caught up in the fantasy sold to us about what this day should be about – we forget it’s simply about celebrating love. Real love. Not the kind that only works on Instagram posts. Not the kind that is purely romantic. The kind that is the seed for any relationship worthwhile, and any relationship that changes you. Molds you. Might I dare to say, make you better?
I’ve never been a fan of Valentine’s day or any fake holiday for that matter. And no, I don’t mean this in a f*ck men and f*ck capitalism type of way (even though two things can be true), but in the way that validating my relationships in the sum of one day, just seemed to cheapen it. The idea of love symbolized by delicate flower petals, and overpriced chocolate seemed to forgo the fact that “to love” and to choose it, is a lot of work. A lot of sacrifice. A lot of “give and take”.
But that’s not all true. As I grow a little more each year and my prefrontal cortex gets closer to finalizing, I understand that love is (and should be) equally the warm-fuzzy, pink-hearted fantasy, and the courageous choice to connect deeper with those who feel worth it.
Love is most definitely a choice, but it’s not a hard one. I talked to a few NYC locals to dig a little deeper on what love means to them: romantic, self, and familial.
Ayanna & Luka
Couple, Together for 1 year & 4 months
How would you define love?
Luka: [When it comes to love] you may feel like you have to think about a lot of things, or might feel like you need to make things more complicated than they are, but you don’t. [With us] there’s no ego, there’s no pride… it’s simple.
What’s your favorite thing about one another?
Ayanna: He’s the “give me the shirt off your back give me the shirt off your back” type of person, he always makes time for other people.
Luka: She’s super sweet. I don’t think there’s anyone who doesn’t think that. She’s kind, very very talented, and creative.
What’s been your toughest hardship in your relationship?
[Both]: Honestly? Our first two weeks together we both got an ear infection.
Domo & Dani
Twin Sisters
First off, who’s older?
Domo: She is. By 12 mins.
How would you define sisterly love?
Dani: Trials and tribulations. (Laughs) Only because you fight with your sister, you cry with your sister, you smile with your sister, you rejoice with your sister…. you know you always learn things and then the love always gets stronger.
Domo: It’s definitely like a relationship where it requires effort on both parts. Your sister is going to be someone who’s going to be around your entire life. Like, I came out with her, I was born with her, so it makes the bond even more important. It’s intense at times, we fight, but we love each other – it’s a beautiful relationship.
What’s your favorite thing about one another?
Dani: She sniffs out the bullsh*t before it even starts sh*tting.. I’m the friendly one you know, but she’ll be the one [to tell me], like “she doesn’t like you” (laughs) or whatever it is.
Domo: She’s very thoughtful. She puts in a lot of effort into relationships with everyone…I aspire to be like that.
How do you get through fights and tough moments?
Both: Distance! (Laughs)
Dani: It can get so intense, you know how it is with siblings, but I feel like once we give each other space and time, all the emotions settle.
Amare Symoné
Self-Lover
How do you define self-love?
Pulling up for yourself. Going out and doing the things that make you happy fearlessly. I recently dropped a song called “Miss Me “, and it took me 3 years to release… and I think it was because I needed to go on this journey of self-love and re-discovering the self-respect that I have for myself. It’s just being your full self and whoever don’t rock with it they don’t and those that do, they’ll pour into you.
Kaya & Ace
Brother & Sister
What do you think love means? What do you think it means when people say I love you?
Kaya: That they think you’re special maybe?
Ace: Yes.
Kaya [To Ace]: Do you think I’m special?
Ace: Yes.
Kaya: I think you’re special too.